I will never figure this out. I have changed my mind every hour every day every every week for the past year. We have broken up more times than you will ever know. And if you did know you would think I was banana cakes. Which I am. Where you are concerned.
Why I cannot call you back:
1. I need to break up with you (for good) and I am not quite ready. I would like to suspend the disbelief for a little longer. Maybe for so long that by the time I do get around to calling you back and breaking up with you (for good) I will no longer care or remember.
2. I will go into the call with all those nonchalant intentions, but likely end up wigging out a la Carrie Bradshaw.
3. I told you if you could not figure it out I was so done here and I know you have not figured it out. I know you've got nothing.
4. Frankly I am more than a little pissed. This is trying your best? Really? Why didn't you just let me go the first time?
5. I might cry. I will cry.
All those years that you said were difficult and you were drowning your sorrows? These are my difficult years and I am trying not to drown. And you are a distant shore that keeps disappearing.